Frank Nouble award 2024/25

[The Reverend]

A very short list this season.


Zach Hemming. A calamity between the sticks. Couldn’t catch, couldn’t save, chucked the ball in the net. Was rapidly repackaged and returned to sender once Keeley arrived.

Dom Ball. Made a good header against Wrexham. Otherwise, what’s the point of this bloke?

Diallang Jaiyesimi. An attacking player who poses basically no attacking threat. He’ll be an alright impact sub in the Conference when he inevitably ends up at Southend.

Lewis Warrington. For a brief moment we actually thought this kid was going to be a replacement for El Miz. Hilariously lightweight. Packed off to Salford on loan in the division below where he’s hardly pulling up trees.

[Rich Tea Wellin]

Only one winner hear. All the others have been disappointing but Hemming actively f*cked us over. Truly awful keeper who then had the balls to moan about being dropped and sent back because the goals he let in were against good teams. If we had keeley from day one we’d be resting players for the playoffs against Wycombe

[essexfootball]

Hemming the winner but Ball has been a massive disappointment, considering his previous almost expected him to be above the level and stand out, far from that

[LPE]

DJ has given it a good go to win the prize but Hemming almost looked like a saboteur.

[Long slender neck]

Hemming was a disaster, thank god we did not persist with him.

[e15O]

Hemming the winner but Ball has been a massive disappointment, considering his previous almost expected him to be above the level and stand out, far from that

I think he’s been decent when he’s played midfield but is made of glass. DJ has been more of a disappointment but no one can compete with Hemming’s car crash of a spell.

[Scuba Diver]

Hemming - no contest.

Think Ball has been okay. He's steady enough but not really lived up to expectations, but not really had a run either. A decent option on the bench for me when Brown/Pratley are knackered..

Jaiyesimi can't be faulted for effort but looks out of his depth. Would tear up the Conference, I imagine.

[RedDwarf 1881]

Hemming the winner but Ball has been a massive disappointment, considering his previous almost expected him to be above the level and stand out, far from that

To be fair to Ball he's been injured and not really able to get into his stride . There is only one clear winner ....Hemming . I can't help feeling if we had Keeley from the beginning we would be currently higher in the league

[Proposition Joe]

Anyone not voting for Hemming needs their head testing. Too bad he'd drop the award.

[Pugwash]

Anyone not voting for Hemming needs their head testing. Too bad he'd drop the award.

Amazing to think some wanted to keep starting him

[Cheshunto]

Hemming all day long,
Ball hasn’t had many chances so I think it’s a bit unfair,
DJ has got something, like he’s hard to knock off the ball, but there’s zero end product.

[gshaw]

Anyone not voting for Hemming needs their head testing. Too bad he'd drop the award.

Amazing to think some wanted to keep starting him

It got to the point where Howes as our #1 keeper in League looked a very real possibility before Keeley saved us literally and metaphorically.

Ball along with one or two others doesn't seem to have got fully match fit all season. A bit disappointing but no-one gets anywhere near the level of fail that Hemming managed.

With one clear winner so far out in front this prize is hereby renamed to the Hemming Award until such day we sign someone even more disastrous (is this even possible?)

[The Reverend]

Anyone not voting for Hemming needs their head testing. Too bad he'd drop the award.

Amazing to think some wanted to keep starting him

It got to the point where Howes as our #1 keeper in League looked a very real possibility before Keeley saved us literally and metaphorically.

Ball along with one or two others doesn't seem to have got fully match fit all season. A bit disappointing but no-one gets anywhere near the level of fail that Hemming managed.

With one clear winner so far out in front this prize is hereby renamed to the Hemming Award until such day we sign someone even more disastrous (is this even possible?)

Absolute madness to think that Howlers as first choice keeper was ever uttered as a serious suggestion. Did anybody notice that he is currently on loan at Maidenhead? As it stands the two conference clubs that he has been on loan at this season are in the relegation zone. He’s out of contract at the end of the season, right? I genuinely think that conference south is the ceiling of his ability level.

[Pugwash]

Anyone not voting for Hemming needs their head testing. Too bad he'd drop the award.

Amazing to think some wanted to keep starting him

It got to the point where Howes as our #1 keeper in League looked a very real possibility before Keeley saved us literally and metaphorically.

Ball along with one or two others doesn't seem to have got fully match fit all season. A bit disappointing but no-one gets anywhere near the level of fail that Hemming managed.

With one clear winner so far out in front this prize is hereby renamed to the Hemming Award until such day we sign someone even more disastrous (is this even possible?)

Hemming was probably p*s*ed off he didn't get to play in Europe with his former & future team mates

[PKM]

Let’s hope Frankie boy has got his scoring boots on on Monday week when Gateshead play Scumend and can confine Scumend to another season of non league.

[Highwood Man]

Must admit that I had completely forgotten about Warrington. Looked pretty poor on the rare occasions that I saw him.

[The Reverend]

Looks like it might be a runaway victory this season.

[Proposition Joe]

Let’s hope Frankie boy has got his scoring boots on on Monday week when Gateshead play Scumend and can confine Scumend to another season of non league.

Oh wow, amazing how the fixture list works out sometimes, knew it was just those 2 sides in a straight shoot out for the last play off spot but didn't realise they were playing each other! Basically a playoff for the playoffs.

[The Reverend]

Let’s hope Frankie boy has got his scoring boots on on Monday week when Gateshead play Scumend and can confine Scumend to another season of non league.

Oh wow, amazing how the fixture list works out sometimes, knew it was just those 2 sides in a straight shoot out for the last play off spot but didn't realise they were playing each other! Basically a playoff for the playoffs.

Also interesting to look at Frank’s journey. He went from playing for Yeovil to Gateshead. That’s one hell of a long distance move.

[LeighO]

I almost admire the 8 people that voted against Hemming

[ContrifibulatoryFred]

Two games before the end of the season when the club is pushing hard to make the playoffs

99% of the threads share hopes/fears and anticipation of success.

But one poster can’t resist going full-on negative with a cretinous attempt to single out players who have not performed this season

I give you, in all their glory, the Reverend

[The Reverend]

Two games before the end of the season when the club is pushing hard to make the playoffs

99% of the threads share hopes/fears and anticipation of success.

But one poster can’t resist going full-on negative with a cretinous attempt to single out players who have not performed this season

I give you, in all their glory, the Reverend

It’s some end of season fun that has become a little bit of a message board tradition. Taking part is not compulsory and there’s no need to have a full on snowflake meltdown over it.

[ContrifibulatoryFred]

Merely a good example of how your brain seems to work.
Singling out players for ridicule who participated in the last two games of the season. Hardly encouraging to their morale.
Still, you do you.

[The Reverend]

Merely a good example of how your brain seems to work.
Singling out players for ridicule who participated in the last two games of the season. Hardly encouraging to their morale.
Still, you do you.

The fact you think that professional football players are not only reading this message board (they ain’t), but are actually letting it impact their on field performance says a lot about how your brain seems to work - although I use the word “work” very loosely. Go and have a lie down if you’re getting this stressed over a silly thread on a message board.

[ContrifibulatoryFred]

I sense your blood pressure rising.
Whether players read the board or not it is striking that you would want to pick apart players like DJ and Dom Ball when almost everyone else is looking at the positives.
Neither offended nor surprised by your lack of self awareness.
That said I would agree that the goalkeeping situation almost put an end to our season before it even began. Yet even that proved a catalyst to the club finding a first rate replacement without whom we wouldn’t have got this far.