Loopholes in football laws

[CEB]

Vague topic, but can anyone think of any hypothetical instances of issues that could arise during a football match, about which the laws have nothing to say? Or potential ways a team might exploit existing laws?

[Wally Banter]

Spenny just tented his fingers in anticipation.

[Wally Banter]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/20 ... ffside-law

[The Mindsweep]

Goal not secured properly and a gust of wind lifts it out of the ground a few inches and is not noticed until a goal is scored.

[Daily Express bot]

Vague topic, but can anyone think of any hypothetical instances of issues that could arise during a football match, about which the laws have nothing to say? Or potential ways a team might exploit existing laws?

The tragic incident few months back in East Stand was not that easy to resolve it seemed?

[CEB]

Keep it light, eh?

[Hoover Attack]

Lay on floor, team mate kicks ball up your shirt, you then hold bottom of shirt to secure ball in place, get up and run into opposition goal.

[CEB]

How would that help someone with a heart attack?

[Daily Express bot]

Keep it light, eh?

Well it was quite unprofessional how it was initially managed . Fans having to invade the pitch to stop the game and sit put was worrying. There did not seem to be much of a contingency plan in place for such eventuality.

[CEB]

Maybe post about it on the relevant thread

[Wally Banter]

Lay on floor, team mate kicks ball up your shirt, you then hold bottom of shirt to secure ball in place, get up and run into opposition goal.

I actually something similar(ly stupid) on You Are The Ref, a few years back:

[Long slender neck]

Win ALL headers by carrying a team mate on your shoulders.

[Proposition Joe]

In a 2 legged cup tie, a player with a highly transmissable disease - Bird Flu Malaria, or something like that - plays having been isolated by his Club. He starts the game, makes a point of coughing over all the oppo before being immediately subbed off and returning to isolation (all the subs/managers are in Hazmat suits, obvs). Come the second leg, most of the opposition squad are all out ill and in intensive care and the player's team either win easily against a depleted side or are awarded a 3-0 walkover and progress to the next round. What do the rules say about that?

[CEB]

In a 2 legged cup tie, a player with a highly transmissable disease - Bird Flu Malaria, or something like that - plays having been isolated by his Club. He starts the game, makes a point of coughing over all the oppo before being immediately subbed off and returning to isolation (all the subs/managers are in Hazmat suits, obvs). Come the second leg, most of the opposition squad are all out ill and in intensive care and the player's team either win easily against a depleted side or are awarded a 3-0 walkover and progress to the next round. What do the rules say about that?

Issue Gary Neville with a red card

[CEB]

(one for the readers of the comments on the observer’s YATR, there)

[Dunners]

What about if you caught the ball between your knees, and then hopped it into the goal whilst the rest of the team formed a protective circle around you to prevent the opposition from dispossessing you of the ball?

[Daily Express bot]

What about if you caught the ball between your knees, and then hopped it into the goal whilst the rest of the team formed a protective circle around you to prevent the opposition from dispossessing you of the ball?

I feel like quoting Sergeant Wilson to Pike .

[Adz]

What about if you caught the ball between your knees, and then hopped it into the goal whilst the rest of the team formed a protective circle around you to prevent the opposition from dispossessing you of the ball?

Other than the obvious obstruction from the protective circle, why would you need to have the ball between your legs and hop to do this?

[Dunners]

What about if you caught the ball between your knees, and then hopped it into the goal whilst the rest of the team formed a protective circle around you to prevent the opposition from dispossessing you of the ball?

Other than the obvious obstruction from the protective circle, why would you need to have the ball between your legs and hop to do this?

So that your feet would remain free to perform a cheeky tap dance, of course.

[Currywurst and Chips]

Becoming more and more rare but do the laws have anything to say if a dog runs on the pitch?

A fox and some parakeets a few seasons back and the ref did nothing.

[Long slender neck]

Train an eagle or large owl to pickup the ball and fly it into the goal.

[Dunners]

Smartgrass - Some sort of clever tech is used so that the astroturf can identify when the home team has possession, and optimise the playing surface to their advantage. And when the opposition is in possession, it retracts and leaves them playing on sodden sand. It's just a natural evolution of the old "turn the hot water off in the away changing rooms" trick.

[Adz]

Any rules stopping the keeper building a brick wall in their goal?

[CEB]

Covered by ungentlemanly conduct - bricklayers aren’t gentlemen because they shout at women to get their tits out, so a yellow card would be issued to a keeper mixing cement in his six yard box

[Dunners]

LSD mist - the sprinklers in the pitch have a dual purpose, and can also apply a targeted spray of a fast-acting, high-strength hallucinogen. Whenever an opposition player has the ball, they are zapped and immediately start tripping off their t*ts.

Hilarity ensues, they fail to capitalise on their possession advantage, and then fail a drugs test after the game.