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Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:34 pm
by MalvoliO
Got a virtual meeting with my colleagues tomorrow during lockdown. Last week the meeting's theme was "wear a hat during the meeting", this week the theme is to tell three statements about ourselves, two of which are true and one of which is a lie. The others on the call have to guess which statement is the lie.

Can anyone think of a really pukka lie that I could tell? My two truths will be 1) I have never learned how to ride a bicycle and 2) I once asked Michael Caine if he was looking for the gents' toilets.

Cheers all.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:39 pm
by KC & sunshine band
3) Just after I asked Michael Caine about the Gents toilet, 50,000 Zulus making a loud noise run over a hill

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:42 pm
by Currywurst and Chips
"I think the person who comes up with these meeting themes is so out there" would be a good lie.

Get the meeting off to a good start

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:43 pm
by Dunners
3) I once asked George Michael if he was looking for the gents' toilets.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:53 pm
by MalvoliO
Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:42 pm "I think the person who comes up with these meeting themes is so out there" would be a good lie.

Get the meeting off to a good start
Love it.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:57 pm
by slacker
I once shared a joint with George Michael at a house party. But if I'm honest, I got on better with Andrew Ridgely, who was also there.

You can decide whether that's true or a whopper ;)

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:07 pm
by RealLoughtonO
He wants a lie Slacker....

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:15 pm
by Admin
Tell them you saw James Alabi score.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:44 pm
by tuffers#1
Tell them while messing around at home a year ago
with your childhood chemistry set , you created a very unusual bacteria.

You gave it to a friend who will remian nameless,
but has gone by the covert name of Thor .
Thor is a highly well connected spiv & passed the Bacteria on to MI 12 ( specialist bacterias) & it was then under lockdown & sent to Wuhan.

Angent Thor was very aggrieved at this blatant theft of British invention by the locaal test centre, so he flew to Wuhan in a Police Helicopter,
( he knows a high up plod) ,
After arriving he & his team Broke into the testing centre & under great stress to himself & the team in
Much the way Ethan Hunt would do , He Escaped through the wet markets of Wuhan disguised as Batman .

The Bacteria was back safe in Britain which was lucky as the chinese had seen it develop into a pandemic threatening Virus .

Phew

3 cheers for Thor

Hip Hip

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 5:02 pm
by greyhound
tell them you have 12in but you don't use it as a rule.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 5:40 pm
by Dohnut
MalvoliO wrote: Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:34 pm Got a virtual meeting with my colleagues tomorrow during lockdown. Last week the meeting's theme was "wear a hat during the meeting", this week the theme is to tell three statements about ourselves, two of which are true and one of which is a lie. The others on the call have to guess which statement is the lie.

Can anyone think of a really pukka lie that I could tell? My two truths will be 1) I have never learned how to ride a bicycle and 2) I once asked Michael Caine if he was looking for the gents' toilets.

Cheers all.
I once had a trial with Leyton Orient. though in my case it was true. Albeit a brief and unsuccessful one.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 5:40 pm
by Celtient
Had to endure this horrendous charade many times in the course of my illustrious career in the Civil Service. My lie was always that I once caddied for David Bowie in a round of golf (couldn't be arsed thinking up a new one ever, as it was new people you were meeting each time) Surprisingly, this was generally accepted to be true, although I always thought that the notion of David Bowie playing golf was quite bizarre

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 5:48 pm
by Dunners
I've always said that I used to be in East 17, but quit the band just before they became famous due to artistic differences. Because I've not always clarified that this is a lie, over the years the number of people who genuinely believe it has built up. It long ago went past the point of no return where I could come clean.

Recently my work did a profile on me on the company intranet, and this bullshit was put forward as a factoid by a coworker. I both chuckle and cringe every time I read it, and it's also now a permanent record of my deception.

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 8:12 pm
by BIGRON
3) tell them your a secret Hammers admirer 🤔

Re: Any liars out there?

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 10:52 pm
by DonaldRocks
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=ht ... h%2Fx%2Fim

I think you will not find it too hard to find a few here.