Independent Leyton Orient Forum

My wife has decided that as I am now tied to the house I should learn to cook.
I’ve always thought “why have a fierce dog and bark yourself “, but I finally gave in.
Actually I am quite proud, I have today learnt that the microwave is the one at the top and the oven is the one below.

Cookings easy .......unless you lose your glasses and can't read the instructions on the frozen meal

BIGRON wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:31 pm Cookings easy .......unless you lose your glasses and can't read the instructions on the frozen meal

agree

just listen for the ding

KC & sunshine band wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:36 pm

BIGRON wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:31 pm Cookings easy .......unless you lose your glasses and can't read the instructions on the frozen meal

agree

just listen for the ding

Or the Fire Brigade if you set the timer for too long.....

Amazes me why anyone wouldn't want to know how to cook and use it, almost as a badge of honour that they cant. If you're an adult and you can't cook, it's pretty embarrassing imo.

Redcard wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:58 pm My wife has decided that as I am now tied to the house I should learn to cook.
I’ve always thought “why have a fierce dog and bark yourself “, but I finally gave in.
Actually I am quite proud, I have today learnt that the microwave is the one at the top and the oven is the one below.

What you cookin?. Giraffe Steaks?

my granddaughters 17th birthday today
we cant get to see her so all the family are baking a cake
then we will all get on house party to night show of our creation and get on the wine.
I have baked a lemon drizzle cake my speciality lovely.

I baked a lemon drizzle on Monday! Never done one before. Used Mary Berry's recipe and it turned out great. Family were astonished.

https://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/ma ... izzle-cake

There's even a video with this link, so you can't mess it up too much.

I do pretty good fresh salmon, with peas and mashed potatoes, my partner says she loves the way I do it. That's
pretty good praise because she is an excellent cook.

greyhound wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 5:02 pm my granddaughters 17th birthday today
we cant get to see her so all the family are baking a cake
then we will all get on house party to night show of our creation and get on the wine.
I have baked a lemon drizzle cake my speciality lovely.

Does thay mean she watches everyone else eat cake
They made for her without actually getting to eat it ?

Thats Harsh but also quite funny.

No apple womble, if your an adult and haven’t got yourself a beautiful woman who can cook, that’s what’s embarrassing.

Chicken Dhansak wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:33 pm I do pretty good fresh salmon, with peas and mashed potatoes, my partner says she loves the way I do it. That's
pretty good praise because she is an excellent cook.

Can you do a good chicken dhansak though?

Apple Wumble wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:44 pm Amazes me why anyone wouldn't want to know how to cook and use it, almost as a badge of honour that they cant. If you're an adult and you can't cook, it's pretty embarrassing imo.

You say that but there are levels of cooking.

I was watching Masterchef earlier and the contestants were working in a Michelin 1 star restaurant serving the fiddiliest food and mini portios I have ever seen where technique and presentation were uber important.

To my mind it was artificially demanding. I would have wrecked the kitchen and probably the chef too. I'm sure Redcard would too.

Would at least challenge one of the other kitchen staff to a boxing match.

Prestige Worldwide wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:11 pm Would at least challenge one of the other kitchen staff to a boxing match.

Probably the one who overcooked the Giraffe Steaks. But I'm just guessing.

Maxie, your close . My ex brother in law had a string of restaurants with a tv celebrity chef , and on one occasion while dining with them he put his fingers in my dinner to take a bit to taste. I stabbed him with my fork, and said “don’t put your fxxxxxx hand in my dinner. He said “what do you think they wear gloves in the kitchen” , I told him if he tried to do that again he had better get a pair. It didn’t stop our friendship but he never did that again.

Redcard wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:57 pm Maxie, your close . My ex brother in law had a string of restaurants with a tv celebrity chef , and on one occasion while dining with them he put his fingers in my dinner to take a bit to taste. I stabbed him with my fork, and said “don’t put your fxxxxxx hand in my dinner. He said “what do you think they wear gloves in the kitchen” , I told him if he tried to do that again he had better get a pair. It didn’t stop our friendship but he never did that again.

Not convinced you can have an ex brother in law but that to one side. How hard did you stab him and where?

Are youse still mates?

Redcard wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:58 pm My wife has decided that as I am now tied to the house I should learn to cook.
I’ve always thought “why have a fierce dog and bark yourself “, but I finally gave in.
Actually I am quite proud, I have today learnt that the microwave is the one at the top and the oven is the one below.

The whole dog bark yourself thing is disgusting, you have a wife not a slave.

Adz wrote: ↑Fri Apr 03, 2020 12:24 am

Redcard wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:58 pm My wife has decided that as I am now tied to the house I should learn to cook.
I’ve always thought “why have a fierce dog and bark yourself “, but I finally gave in.
Actually I am quite proud, I have today learnt that the microwave is the one at the top and the oven is the one below.

The whole dog bark yourself thing is disgusting, you have a wife not a slave.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Fair play people, I've always been a decent cook. Not blowing my own trumpet. I've never seen such a mad rush on flour, eggs and buttermilk. Question for you all, Who is going to be doing the fruit and veg picking? Boris promised so much testing like that other Tit Trump. Now the UK is playing catch up like so many countries. Imagine if the world had proper leadership. I've been warning for so long. The Great Depression of the 1930's lead to Hitler, Mussolini and Franco. God forbid. Stay safe you all. Remember stay apart and you all will be helping the first responders and maybe your own family. History has a habit of repeating itself. These are not normal times.

Start at the beginning, redcard. Learn how to boil an egg and make an edible omelette. My top tip: St Delia is your best pre-school cooking guide.

Smendrick Feaselberg wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:51 pm

Chicken Dhansak wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:33 pm I do pretty good fresh salmon, with peas and mashed potatoes, my partner says she loves the way I do it. That's
pretty good praise because she is an excellent cook.

Can you do a good chicken dhansak though?

Wouldn't even know where to start Smen, but I do love eating them.

My wife also is disgusted when I used the barking dog analogy , but it’s only tongue in cheek , my wife always gets her own way EVENTUALLY.
Maxie boy, stabbed him in his offending hand with my fork, but he would often ask my brother in law if I could join them because he enjoyed my company. Sadly since my brother in law and sister in law divorced , and he has split with the business I have lost contact. Still remain in touch with my ex brother in law , who incidentally is one of the most generous people I have known.
Regarding my lack of Culinary skills , I come from a generation where the man was the sole provider while the women didn’t work but kept house. Today I appreciate that as women also work, it’s reasonable for their partners to share household chores.
Having said that, in order for me to start from scratch I will have to learn, and remember, what all those symbols mean on all the kitchen appliances. They are just symbols which come and disappear with a life of their own.
Anyway, small steps, and today I am going to learn what other appliances lie hidden behind the kitchen units and what they actually do. Then onto the symbols, but I will take notes alongside little diagrams.
By the time this virus ends, who knows, I might be self reliant when it comes to feeding myself.
My wife did suggest I learned to cook, and bearing in mind the health risk we are all facing she asked how I would mange if anything happened to her. I don’t think that the answer “I would get a young bird in by the end of the week” was the response she was looking for. Can’t believe I forgot to duck.

Slacker , “ start at the beginning redcard, learn how to boil an egg and make an edible omelette “. See slacker I didn’t even know you boiled the eggs when making an omelette, I thought my wife mixed them up from raw.

Yep, you definitely boil the eggs, and then use a potato masher to turn them into an omelette.

Works a treat.