Best Ever Football Anecdotes Or Quotes

[Max B Gold]

This is my favourite:

When told Partick Thistle striker Colin McGlashan didn’t know who he was after a head knock, the manager John Lambie famously replied: ‘Great. Tell him he’s Pele and get him back on’!

Are there any others as good as this?

[StillSpike]

When Ally McLeod played for 3rd Lanark, he was coming back from injury, and the then manager, mindful that he was not yet match fit, told him

"You start son, and I'll bring you off at halftime". To which he answered "can't I just have a cup of tea?"

[Dunners]

The one about Adam Boyd legging it down the road when a husband unexpectedly returned home.

[Give it to Jabo]

When Ally McLeod played for 3rd Lanark, he was coming back from injury, and the then manager, mindful that he was not yet match fit, told him

"You start son, and I'll bring you off at halftime". To which he answered "can't I just have a cup of tea?"

This one has done the rounds. I heard it said that Rodney Marsh said something similar to this to Alf Ramsey.

Rodders never played for England again.

[StillSpike]

Aye - I made it up to crowbar the gag in. Wanted to use 3rd Lanark

[Ronnie Hotdogs]

The one about Adam Boyd legging it down the road when a husband unexpectedly returned home.

I'm guessing the husband caught him up without too much effort?

[Chief crazy horse]

On signing centre half Ron Yates for Liverpool , Bill Shankley enthused to reporters, "he's enormous, he's a colusses, if you come to the training ground tomorrow you can take a walk around him".

[Bergen]

At her birthday Bill Shankly wanted to treat his wife to something special. So he took her to a reserve team game at Rochdale.

[Max B Gold]

Tommy Docherty on Ray Wilkins: "He can't run, he can't tackle and he can't head the ball. The only time he goes forward is for the toss."

[O my gawd]

Mr Shankly had loads. My favourite was the story when Shankly phoned up Chelsea Boss Tommy Docherty enquiring about Striker Tony Hateley. The Doc told him "100,000 wouldn't buy him", Shankly replied "I know. I'm one of them"

[Proposition Joe]

Everyone seems to be unable to differentiate between an anecdote and a quote.

[F*ck The Poor & Fat]

Everyone seems to be unable to differentiate between an anecdote and a quote.

But some good stuff none the less.

[tuffers#1]

Martin O'Neill to Gerry Taggert at Leicester
Taggert passed to Robbie Savage , he lost the ball & the keeper had to make a good save
Half time team talk O'Neill goes in the dressing room .
"Gerry you effing idiot .
If you get the ball pass it to Muzzy ( izzet)
pass it to lenny ( Neil Lennon )
But dont ever pass it to Sav , he's sh*t & cant
play Football.
Never give him the Ball again".

[Disoriented]

Everyone seems to be unable to differentiate between an anecdote and a quote.

Seems like a decent thread. Not sure what the pedantry adds to it.

[Max B Gold]

Everyone seems to be unable to differentiate between an anecdote and a quote.

Seems like a decent thread. Not sure what the pedantry adds to it.

I have made the pedantry irrelevant and have noted Plop Joes bad attitude which will be addressed at his Annual Boardin Appraisal.

[F*ck The Poor & Fat]

Everyone seems to be unable to differentiate between an anecdote and a quote.

Seems like a decent thread. Not sure what the pedantry adds to it.

I have made the pedantry irrelevant and have noted Plop Joes bad attitude which will be addressed at his Annual Boardin Appraisal.

ProJo Definitely needs attitude re-training.

[ContrifibulatoryFred]

Berry buries Bury

A great headline for when our man scored a hat trick against the Shakers

[Max B Gold]

Berry buries Bury

A great headline for when our man scored a hat trick against the Shakers

Oh FFS! That is neither an anecdote nor a quote it is a sports page headline. Please concentrate.

[Constanza]

"The new Brighton stadium is lovely."

I am sure this was a football Amex quote.

[Ronnie Hotdogs]

Liverpool were playing a foreign team in the uefa cup final. One of the foreign players was called Geli, Dave Geli or something, and he scored an own goal in the last minute and the commentator shouted ‘Wibble wobble, wibble wobble, Geli on a plate’.

[ContrifibulatoryFred]

I did like the south stand singing at the QPR goalie in effeminate voices a few years back

‘You’re Camp and you know you are!’

[tuffers#1]

On a coach trip Newcastle players were doing there usual pastimes

Tino Asprilla pops a video on ,
Elephants, Lions , other exotic animlas,

Then cuts to a Beuatiful woman not wearing much ,
Followed by a well built male , all the players looking at the
Hot woman , sure enough they get down to some action on the video
Kevin Keegan & Terry Mc sat just a bit in front of the screens in the front seat
Take little notice of the cheers from the players on the luxury team bus hurtling
down the motorway , 10 minutes further in the obvious sreams & moans attract the attention
Up stands Keegan Right, Entertainment manager get this off the screen now .

Up jumps Tino Asprilla in very broken English

No no gaffer thats my Misses .

Roars of laughter erupt , plenty of pats on the back for Tino

[Proposition Joe]

Staying with Newcastle:

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi as he was breaking into the first team: "Do you have a nickname?"

Ameobi: "No, not really"

Reporter: "So what does Bobby Robson call you?"

Ameobi: "Carl Cort."

[Mikero]

Roger Freestone, the welsh goalkeeper, when the north terrace accused his team of being 'sheep-shaggers' turned and said "You lot eat them after we've shagged them"

Mikero

[point nine one eight]

Martin O'neal, asked Brian Clough why he was dropped to the reserves team, Brian said, simple my son, your too good for the third team.