Relationship advice needed

[CEB2ElectricBoogaloo]

Hello Orient board,

So a few years ago, I was in a relationship that really wasn’t working out. Don’t get me wrong, he was a nice guy, but it had run its course. I was initially attracted to the glamour (he was moderator of a message board) but his lack of ambition meant that he let that slip away. It was sad to see him bereft at the state it got into after he stepped down.
Anyway, I f*cked him off and spent a month in Australia, “catching up” with some exes, and I was all set to stay.

However, I do still care about the silly b*stard and I heard he was having a rough time so I flew in to check on him.

It turned out that he’s had a complete mental breakdown. He said that he’d worked out how to do a relationship properly, but all he did was keep saying “trust the process”, “I’ve been hurt before” and “im not here to make friends”. I said I’m not feeling the spark anymore and we’re on different journeys but to no avail - he just said that it’s all a rollercoaster and he doesn’t want to get off it.
Anyway, I mentioned breaking up and he insisted that love isn’t a feeling, but rather an action, and then took the greyhounds for a walk and came back as if nothing ever happened.
Since then for three years he has done nothing but talk like this, and he seems to think that my panicked smile indicates agreement.
Clearly I couldn’t leave him like this.
However, in recent months I think that his mindset has improved enough that I can leave - for a start, he’s managing small little achievements like he came to me a week ago telling me that he’d listened to an entire Feeder album, by choice. If he has that level of mental resilience I don’t think me breaking up with him will be too bad.

How should I tell him?

[Proposition Joe]

Excellent.

[Stamford O]

By text

[Celtient]

Slit his greyhounds' throats

[Proposition Joe]

That's a bit weird.

[Celtient]

It's how we Pikeys do things innit

[CEB2ElectricBoogaloo]

Well this took an odd turn

[Proposition Joe]

Indeed. I'd wager that that in the long history of the MB, that's possibly the first time anyone's fantasised about murdering dogs on a jovial reverse thread.

[Give it to Jabo]

and i thought counsellors had it easy...

[Max B Gold]

Indeed. I'd wager that that in the long history of the MB, that's possibly the first time anyone's fantasised about murdering dogs on a jovial reverse thread.

Lighten up. It's just dark humour.

I did chuckle initially but then a picture of six blood soaked dogs popped into my head and they won't go away. My day is ruined.

[Dunners]

FFS, lighten up everyone. I give myself a giggle all the time thinking about stomping on the heads of kittens or screaming "Santa isn't real" through the letterbox of the local orphanage.

[Max B Gold]

FFS, lighten up everyone. I give myself a giggle all the time thinking about stomping on the heads of kittens or screaming "Santa isn't real" through the letterbox of the local orphanage.

You need help, pal.

[Bandy Legs]

FFS, lighten up everyone. I give myself a giggle all the time thinking about stomping on the heads of kittens or screaming "Santa isn't real" through the letterbox of the local orphanage.

You need help, pal.

Does someone need to open a Window?

[Max B Gold]

FFS, lighten up everyone. I give myself a giggle all the time thinking about stomping on the heads of kittens or screaming "Santa isn't real" through the letterbox of the local orphanage.

You need help, pal.

Does someone need to open a Window?

Wasn't expecting that from a sane and rational fella like yourself. Especially in relation to a funny.

[Bandy Legs]

You need help, pal.

Does someone need to open a Window?

Wasn't expecting that from a sane and rational fella like yourself. Especially in relation to a funny.

viewtopic.php?t=15495
It was an attempt at humour Max, it failed I think

[Max B Gold]

Does someone need to open a Window?

Wasn't expecting that from a sane and rational fella like yourself. Especially in relation to a funny.

viewtopic.php?t=15495
It was an attempt at humour Max, it failed I think

I think it did. Think more about how you can link unconnected threads to good humorous effect.