When does a feud become harassment?

[The Reverend]

Going to the lengths of creating a YouTube video about me and posting it, whilst on the surface is a hilarious jape, if you put your biases and allegiances aside for a moment it’s pretty shoddy behaviour.

Since the posting of that video I have ignored the user who posted it entirely. And yet this morning I log in to find that he is continuing to like old posts of mine, including ones which have absolutely no relevance to him whatsoever.

It’s one thing to have a back and forth over comments but I feel that we’re now in the territory of genuine harassment/bullying.

And why? Because we had a disagreement on a football message board.

You may think I’m on the wrong side of this disagreement, which is fine, but I’ve only ever posted comments for all to see about the matter.

But when a user escalates this to using tactics which are clearly designed to hammer somebody into the ground then that’s too far in my opinion.

Really toxic and quite nasty behaviour that I’ve had enough of.

[Wally Banter]

Presumably your only real recourse is reporting to the moderators, so why not just do that rather than tell all of us about it ad nauseam?

[Long slender neck]

I see your point Rev, I honestly do, but can you try ignoring him as suggested? You've done the opposite.

[Constanza]

Going to the lengths of creating a YouTube video about me and posting it, whilst on the surface is a hilarious jape, if you put your biases and allegiances aside for a moment it’s pretty shoddy behaviour.

Since the posting of that video I have ignored the user who posted it entirely. And yet this morning I log in to find that he is continuing to like old posts of mine, including ones which have absolutely no relevance to him whatsoever.

It’s one thing to have a back and forth over comments but I feel that we’re now in the territory of genuine harassment/bullying.

And why? Because we had a disagreement on a football message board.

You may think I’m on the wrong side of this disagreement, which is fine, but I’ve only ever posted comments for all to see about the matter.

But when a user escalates this to using tactics which are clearly designed to hammer somebody into the ground then that’s too far in my opinion.

Really toxic and quite nasty behaviour that I’ve had enough of.

Read that in the style of The Streets and it works as a musical comeback to Board Life.

[The Reverend]

Presumably your only real recourse is reporting to the moderators, so why not just do that rather than tell all of us about it ad nauseam?

I have reported it but the moderator doesn’t deem it worthy of taking action. It’s his decision and I don’t want to have a dig at him for it because he has a tough job on here which he does on a voluntary basis.

I do suspect that a little bit of favouritism is going on though. If obvious that the boarder who is employing these tactics on me has a long history on various iterations of these boards which I think leads to some leniency. Especially when the victim is a relative newcomer like me. Can you seriously say that a new boarder would be permitted to make vindictive YouTube videos about another boarder they don’t like and it not raising some serious questions? But because the boarder in question has presumably used such over the top tactics in the past he gets a pass.

[Wally Banter]

Again, why are you telling us that? Take it up with the moderator if you think they're not being fair.

[LittleMate]

I see your point Rev, I honestly do, but can you try ignoring him as suggested? You've done the opposite.

Fuelling the fire....

[The Reverend]

Again, why are you telling us that? Take it up with the moderator if you think they're not being fair.

I think it’s important for other users to know. I really do.

For people who are new to this forum I think they should be aware that there are certain members who have long standing histories with other members of the board, including moderators, who will go to huge lengths to harass and bully you into submission if you happen to disagree with them. And they are allowed to do it.

This same person decided that they could normalise verbal abuse towards other users, including moderators because they were upset and wanted to get their way.

As previously stated, I honestly believe that if a new boarder called a moderator a C and started an entire vendetta against they would have been binned long ago. As would someone who went to the lengths of creating a YouTube video to wind someone up.

I think it’s important to let others know that this place isn’t really a level playing field and that there are certain boarders they may wish to avoid.

[Wally Banter]

I don't believe you. You just want to be Right On The Internet.

[FrankOFile]

I don't believe you. You just want to be Right On The Internet.

What does the other one want apart from prodding the bear in the cage?

[CEB]

When *does* a feud become harrassment? It’s a great question, and one I’ll let you answer:

If you continue pursuing this feud beyond today on this thread I’ll suggest to LSN that it is added to list along with “digging up old threads to mention me”, “making snide nudge nudge wink wink comments about me” and using the like function in a passive aggressive way to harass me”. Because it really is unwanted behaviour now.

Because I know it’ll make you happy. And I’m sure you can chalk it down as a “win” :

Here have the last word….

So, it seems that on Wednesday night you suggested that if I were to continue this “feud”, it would constitute unwanted behaviour.
Cool! I agree! Continuing the feud *would* be unwanted behaviour.

Now, can you give me a heads up on whether or not this boarder is “continuing a feud” or not? Because I was a bit surprised to find that someone with a log in that looks a lot like yours did all this - without me posting anything, or liking anything of yours - after seeming to be so upset about being harassed!

If you continue pursuing this feud beyond today on this thread I’ll suggest to LSN that it is added to list along with “digging up old threads to mention me”, “making snide nudge nudge wink wink comments about me” and using the like function in a passive aggressive way to harass me”. Because it really is unwanted behaviour now.

Because I know it’ll make you happy. And I’m sure you can chalk it down as a “win” :

Here have the last word….

What on earth is this about?

As I predicted back during the original kerfuffle, indulging CEBs public tantrum has allowed his manipulative toxicity to spread across this board - including the normalisation of abusing other boarders and has started to ruin the experience for other boarders. Most of whom just want to come on here to talk about Orient, not engage with somebody who hounds people into the ground to seek validation that they are “right” about everything from the conflict in Israel to trans rights.

His relentless pursuit of a feud with me, which he has been trying to reignite ever since I actively started ignoring him (something he admitted to doing) has driven Fisch away from this place.


It’s a shame that one boarder is able to have a negative impact on this place.

I had been quite enjoying my time on here after my enforced time off. Engaging in conversations about the great win over Bolton at the weekend. But the whole time CEB was in the background trying to get my attention, goading me into the response that he clearly wanted and has now got.

I really just want him to foe me and stop trying to get my attention by liking every single post I make.

From someone passionate about women’s football!

There is an example of an idiot CEB,that’s what they want you to do is reply to their crap.

But it’ll somehow be Fischs fault. CEB is right. And smarter than anyone who responds. Everyone else is the one trying to start feuds. Never his fault. CEB knows more about women’s football than everyone on the board. We should all respond to CEB with statements that he has drafted for us.

Blah blah blah

Why does ceb liking your posts get to you so much?

Because it’s indicative of the nasty manipulative behaviour he engages in.

On the public facing side of the forum he’s claiming that I’m trying to continue a feud despite the fact that I had been actively ignoring him for well over a week by that point. Yet in the background, where nobody else can see, he is liking every post I make and going back to posts from months ago to like, knowing that it’ll flood my notifications and get my attention.

His whole “why are you getting upset about someone liking your posts” line was incredibly predicable as well. It’s the same as how he claims to not understand what’s so bad about “swearing” when in fact the thing people take issue with is directly abusing other users via swearing at them.

Someone announces that they have been driven to leave the board.

CEBs response? Have a dig at them.

Who is REALLY the problem on here?

We could believe that it’s literally anyone who CEB disagrees with. Which seems to be his position. Or, could it be possible that there’s a common theme about who is the real issue here?

This seems to be extreme. Why do you not just ignore posts you do not like?
Life is too short to get angry all of the time.

Not so much angry (but a bit - yes) but as we (there's a small group now) get increasingly involved in the club and its people via our work with the women's teams, it is quite clear that having a presence on this board is counter-productive and is starting to get in the way of what we're trying to achieve. Imagine if your teenage daughter is in the youth team and, as a parent, you read this board. It's just a few people who post this crap (I guess) and it is a place for mavericks, I have no problem with that but it isn't somewhere that fits well with our aims.
You are right to an extent, I am personally tired of the smart-arsery and baiting that goes on so this is something of a girly flounce but I judge the time is right to go now. I'm a little sad because we do get encouragement and interest from quite a few boarders on here -thank you folks, your responses were much appreciated. Life goes on at https://lofcwomen.com and look out for coverage soon in the fanzines.

I do apologise if I’ve played a part in you making this decision (which by the sounds of things I may have done). I’m sorry to hear that you no longer wish to take part on this board.

My intention has only ever been to talk about Orient and ask the occasional inoffensive “big question” to people as I enjoy the conversation it stimulates.

Unfortunately we have one user who has decided that a Leyton Orient message board is the place where they can rant and rave about controversial topics. I don’t have a problem with that in principle but when that person started up entire threads to abuse people, including moderators, who said something they don’t like and also generally started to take over the board with their feud about the conflict on Israel (I remind you…on a Leyton Orient message board) then I felt it was too far. I also didn’t like how this one boarder had decided that their personal grievance was justification for normalising the use of abusive language towards others on here. All in a quest to be told that they are “right”.
I took the decision to voice my opinion on such toxic behaviour and the fallout continues today because one person simply cannot be satisfied until they are validated with the assertion that they are “right”. About everything. All the time.

Anyway, best of luck for the future.

These are just a few of the posts you did about me yesterday morning.

And, more than anything else, they show that the dynamics of this feud are:

1: you don’t like me
2: you’d quite like it if everyone else agreed so that I could be forced off of the board

The problem is, my response to (1) is “OK, that’s fine - no worries” and to (2) is “if you go around trying to convince everyone how much of a d*** I am, whether I’m a d*** or not, eventually you’re gonna become the d*** by not shutting up about it. I remember once I of all people suggested you tone it down with how hard you were going in on OFF.


The only difference here is, I don’t mind whether or not you choose to continue it. But if you continue it, I’m going to not bother giving you the endorphine hit of a response, but I’ll instead “like” a few posts of yours.

And that “like” means “lol, you’re still trying to carry on this feud that exists only in your head”*

*Lengthy posts about me however, may well be turned into song.

[The Reverend]

When *does* a feud become harrassment? It’s a great question, and one I’ll let you answer:

If you continue pursuing this feud beyond today on this thread I’ll suggest to LSN that it is added to list along with “digging up old threads to mention me”, “making snide nudge nudge wink wink comments about me” and using the like function in a passive aggressive way to harass me”. Because it really is unwanted behaviour now.

Because I know it’ll make you happy. And I’m sure you can chalk it down as a “win” :

Here have the last word….

So, it seems that on Wednesday night you suggested that if I were to continue this “feud”, it would constitute unwanted behaviour.
Cool! I agree! Continuing the feud *would* be unwanted behaviour.

Now, can you give me a heads up on whether or not this boarder is “continuing a feud” or not? Because I was a bit surprised to find that someone with a log in that looks a lot like yours did all this - without me posting anything, or liking anything of yours - after seeming to be so upset about being harassed!

If you continue pursuing this feud beyond today on this thread I’ll suggest to LSN that it is added to list along with “digging up old threads to mention me”, “making snide nudge nudge wink wink comments about me” and using the like function in a passive aggressive way to harass me”. Because it really is unwanted behaviour now.

Because I know it’ll make you happy. And I’m sure you can chalk it down as a “win” :

Here have the last word….

What on earth is this about?

As I predicted back during the original kerfuffle, indulging CEBs public tantrum has allowed his manipulative toxicity to spread across this board - including the normalisation of abusing other boarders and has started to ruin the experience for other boarders. Most of whom just want to come on here to talk about Orient, not engage with somebody who hounds people into the ground to seek validation that they are “right” about everything from the conflict in Israel to trans rights.

His relentless pursuit of a feud with me, which he has been trying to reignite ever since I actively started ignoring him (something he admitted to doing) has driven Fisch away from this place.


It’s a shame that one boarder is able to have a negative impact on this place.

I had been quite enjoying my time on here after my enforced time off. Engaging in conversations about the great win over Bolton at the weekend. But the whole time CEB was in the background trying to get my attention, goading me into the response that he clearly wanted and has now got.

I really just want him to foe me and stop trying to get my attention by liking every single post I make.

There is an example of an idiot CEB,that’s what they want you to do is reply to their crap.

But it’ll somehow be Fischs fault. CEB is right. And smarter than anyone who responds. Everyone else is the one trying to start feuds. Never his fault. CEB knows more about women’s football than everyone on the board. We should all respond to CEB with statements that he has drafted for us.

Blah blah blah

Why does ceb liking your posts get to you so much?

Because it’s indicative of the nasty manipulative behaviour he engages in.

On the public facing side of the forum he’s claiming that I’m trying to continue a feud despite the fact that I had been actively ignoring him for well over a week by that point. Yet in the background, where nobody else can see, he is liking every post I make and going back to posts from months ago to like, knowing that it’ll flood my notifications and get my attention.

His whole “why are you getting upset about someone liking your posts” line was incredibly predicable as well. It’s the same as how he claims to not understand what’s so bad about “swearing” when in fact the thing people take issue with is directly abusing other users via swearing at them.

Someone announces that they have been driven to leave the board.

CEBs response? Have a dig at them.

Who is REALLY the problem on here?

We could believe that it’s literally anyone who CEB disagrees with. Which seems to be his position. Or, could it be possible that there’s a common theme about who is the real issue here?

Not so much angry (but a bit - yes) but as we (there's a small group now) get increasingly involved in the club and its people via our work with the women's teams, it is quite clear that having a presence on this board is counter-productive and is starting to get in the way of what we're trying to achieve. Imagine if your teenage daughter is in the youth team and, as a parent, you read this board. It's just a few people who post this crap (I guess) and it is a place for mavericks, I have no problem with that but it isn't somewhere that fits well with our aims.
You are right to an extent, I am personally tired of the smart-arsery and baiting that goes on so this is something of a girly flounce but I judge the time is right to go now. I'm a little sad because we do get encouragement and interest from quite a few boarders on here -thank you folks, your responses were much appreciated. Life goes on at https://lofcwomen.com and look out for coverage soon in the fanzines.

I do apologise if I’ve played a part in you making this decision (which by the sounds of things I may have done). I’m sorry to hear that you no longer wish to take part on this board.

My intention has only ever been to talk about Orient and ask the occasional inoffensive “big question” to people as I enjoy the conversation it stimulates.

Unfortunately we have one user who has decided that a Leyton Orient message board is the place where they can rant and rave about controversial topics. I don’t have a problem with that in principle but when that person started up entire threads to abuse people, including moderators, who said something they don’t like and also generally started to take over the board with their feud about the conflict on Israel (I remind you…on a Leyton Orient message board) then I felt it was too far. I also didn’t like how this one boarder had decided that their personal grievance was justification for normalising the use of abusive language towards others on here. All in a quest to be told that they are “right”.
I took the decision to voice my opinion on such toxic behaviour and the fallout continues today because one person simply cannot be satisfied until they are validated with the assertion that they are “right”. About everything. All the time.

Anyway, best of luck for the future.

The only difference is, I don’t mind whether or not you choose to continue it. But if you continue it, I’m going to not bother giving you the endorphine hit of a response, but I’ll instead “like” a few posts of yours.

And that “like” means “lol, you’re still tying to carry on this feud that exists only in your head”*

*Lengthy posts about me however, may well be turned into song.

As predicted you conveniently left out the post where you responded to Adz with a completely warped version of events which painted me in a negative light. But that wasn’t you continuing the feud because…reasons

Your nonsense about why you keep liking my old posts is yet more lies. This morning alone you’ve gone back and liked posts from weeks ago where I was talking about Walthamstow fc. What has that got to do with a feud? I also have engaged with you or about you since you posted that video and yet this morning you went on another spree liking my old comments to fill up my notifications again.

You’re a manipulative liar who is banking on the fact that you have history with other users on here who know you, which means that you can get away with quite frankly strangely obsessive tactics (such as creating an entire YouTube) to harass a user you disagree with. Disappointing thing is that you probably are safe to do it.

[CEB]

“It’s OK for me but not for thee”

It’s quite simple; I have several times said - if you stop posting about me, then I will stop liking your posts, and will happily never refer to you again.
I’m not in a feud with you, because I think you’re welcome to your opinion about me. But the more you keep expressing that opinion, while crying foul when you get a bit back, the more you’ll end up in car crash threads like this.

The “feud” is entirely about the fact that you don’t like me and don’t think I should be on this board. That’s your issue; you are in a one man campaign, not a dispute.
That’s why you aren’t willing to just stick me on foe. It seems to not be enough to not read my posts, you also actively want me out.

[The Reverend]

“It’s OK for me but not for thee”

Anyway. I’m saying it outright now. I think your behaviour has moved beyond simple message board feud territory.

At no point have I done anything beyond posting comments on a forum for everyone to see. You have now gone way beyond just posting comments which is behaviour designed to really ground at someone in multiple ways.

[Long slender neck]

Its very simple Rev, just stop posting about ceb, then he'll stop irritating you. I think this is the best way forward.

[CEB]

Its very simple Rev, just stop posting about ceb, then he'll stop irritating you. I think this is the best way forward.

I can say that I commit entirely to not talking about, liking, engaging with him on any level, nor referring to him, if he keeps a lid on the “CEB’s toxic manipulative bla bla”

[Wally Banter]

How I would sum up this feud:

[CEB]

“It’s OK for me but not for thee”

Anyway. I’m saying it outright now. I think your behaviour has moved beyond simple message board feud territory.

At no point have I done anything beyond posting comments on a forum for everyone to see. You have now gone way beyond just posting comments which is behaviour designed to really ground at someone in multiple ways.

Rev: “this guy has gone WAY beyond posting comments!!”

Police: “what has he done? Found your address? Doxxed you? Threatened you?”

Rev: “worse. After I posted four thousand words about his toxicity he… no.. it hurts to even say it… he…. He….set my words to the tune of Parklife; and not just that, he liked random old posts of mine after I said it winds me up!”

Police: “that toxic ****!(fool)”

[Proposition Joe]

At no point have I done anything beyond posting comments on a forum for everyone to see.

Well that's not true, is it? You harassed OFF for weeks despite being called out by numerous people for your obsessive behaviour.

Anyway, on this subject, the Mod's told you to ignore him and that they won't do any more about it, everyone else is telling you loud and clear to shut up about it and stop ruining the Board. You may feel hard done by, but everyone apart from you can see that everything's pointing towards it probably being time to let it lie.

[Friend or fart]

Be like me & visit this tedious Board less & less, while the twattish trolls massage their egos. I seldom start new threads as the same twats quickly go off piste to further their " look at me " agenda. Occasionally I pick up some Orient related gems. There are a few " normal " posters. But it is only worth the occasional visit.

[CEB]

How I would sum up this feud:

I’ll leave you to wonder whether that’s a genuine like or a passive aggressive one

[The Mindsweep]

I very much doubt that your real name is The Reverend, so you can't harass a username. If it's affecting you so much, just have a break and come back in a while with a new username. Be wary of the usernames who provoked you before and see how it goes. If you find yourself in the same position as before, then you will have to think is it really worth it posting on here at all.

[Long slender neck]

Be like me & visit this tedious Board less & less, while the twattish trolls massage their egos. I seldom start new threads as the same twats quickly go off piste to further their " look at me " agenda. Occasionally I pick up some Orient related gems. There are a few " normal " posters. But it is only worth the occasional visit.

You started a thread yesterday and the day before that.

[The Reverend]

Its very simple Rev, just stop posting about ceb, then he'll stop irritating you. I think this is the best way forward.

I can say that I commit entirely to not talking about, liking, engaging with him on any level, nor referring to him, if he keeps a lid on the “CEB’s toxic manipulative bla bla”

Look, if you really do want to end this can we come to the following agreement:

From now until 23:59 on Sunday 28th Jan 2024

1. I won’t reply to your posts
2. I won’t mention you in any other posts to any other user
3. I won’t like any of your posts, new or historic ones
4. I won’t message you via the DM function
5. I won’t mention or allude to you or your behaviour in any way (this includes explanations about the feud and the creation of things like YouTube videos mentioning posts from this board)

I will agree to all of the above if you also agree to do the same. If we both stick to these 5 points from now until the date mentioned it proves that we are both serious about dropping this. If one of us breaks any of these then it proves that the one breaking them does want to continue the feud.

I think is a fair arrangement. Do you agree?

[Constanza]

Don't stop, I'm enjoying it.