Orient Funerals

[Howling Mad Murdock]

Death: it's the future.

So is relegation.

[Redcard]

10k, I’m not coffin up that much.

[Frogger]

£10k seems a lot for Alan to say a few words, is catering included? Does this include the actual burial? head stone? etc.
PW, please provide your proposed breakdown of where the £10k is spent.

I am keen to know more. Would the grieving family get any Orient merch? tops, tracksuits, pens, etc?

Let us not kill the idea off before we look into it. Could be a great money spinner, just think we could build a better team on the back of the dead.

[Howling Mad Murdock]

Let us not kill the idea off before we look into it. Could be a great money spinner, just think we could build a better team on the back of the dead.

Would it be a long contract?

[RedDwarf 1881]

10k, I’m not coffin up that much.

Yeah, over my dead body.

[Long slender neck]

£10k seems a lot for Alan to say a few words, is catering included? Does this include the actual burial? head stone? etc.
PW, please provide your proposed breakdown of where the £10k is spent.

I am keen to know more. Would the grieving family get any Orient merch? tops, tracksuits, pens, etc?

Let us not kill the idea off before we look into it. Could be a great money spinner, just think we could build a better team on the back of the dead.

Ceremony, wake and ash scattering/made into a Bovril lid.

Funerals cost a lot, I'm not saying it's right. Macklin will come up with a range of options to suit many budgets.

[Ronnie Hotdogs]

We could have a memorial wall with plaques on it too. I'm not sure we'd be able to the full crematorium bit on site, given we can't get the ventilation sorted to cook a few burgers in most stands.

This is absolutely a good little money spinner.

[oriboy]

At least the deceased will get a 90 minute silence the next home game

[Long slender neck]

Paid silences or applauses, another good idea.

[Frogger]

£10k seems a lot for Alan to say a few words, is catering included? Does this include the actual burial? head stone? etc.
PW, please provide your proposed breakdown of where the £10k is spent.

I am keen to know more. Would the grieving family get any Orient merch? tops, tracksuits, pens, etc?

Let us not kill the idea off before we look into it. Could be a great money spinner, just think we could build a better team on the back of the dead.

Ceremony, wake and ash scattering/made into a Bovril lid.

Funerals cost a lot, I'm not saying it's right. Macklin will come up with a range of options to suit many budgets.

If this covers Jewish funerals too I am all in.
Great idea, can you explain how the Bovril lid thing works? Is it part ash part plastic?
Does the family/deceased get a say on what the money goes to? ie transfer kitty? Pitch improvement? More parking? New East stand

It's a great idea and I would not be surprised if this was not rolled to all clubs within the next few months.

last thing will the wake be in the South Stand bar or in the exec suites? If so is it exclusive use of either or open to public as well?

[Omygawd]

Would you want this bloody lot to attend any part of your funeral?

[Howling Mad Murdock]

Would you want this bloody lot to attend any part of your funeral?

Did you sue the charm school,mate?

[Frogger]

Would you want this bloody lot to attend any part of your funeral?

Don't care really I will be brown bread/a Bovril lid

[FargO]

Congratulations to everyone who came up with a death-related pun.

[Clive Evans]

Strange the way people get wound up about death. Yet it is the only real certainty in life. 18 months ago, I died ( heart stopped beating for ten minutes). It required very little effort on my behalf and was a painless process. It was quite scary when they brought me back to the land of the living. The doctor gave me a quick resume of what had happened, but I more or less realised anyway. Then the scary stuff started : he said " we are going fit a catheter, intubate you, please swallow this hosepipe " and shoved a smaller tube up my 'ooter . But they quickly sorted me out. It's going to happen to all of us. I don't know why people make certain demands for after they have croaked. I can assure you they will never know whether or not their demands have been fulfilled. Mind you I wouldn't mind " The Hedgehog Song " being played at my cremation.

[Howling Mad Murdock]

I'd rather see Orient win the Champions League first...but by then I will be three million years old.

https://thebulletin.org/doomsday-clock/current-time/

I can't see that the youngsters today have much to celebrate in the future.Funerals may not be needed.The Doomsday Clock is at a hundred seconds to midnight at present and that's scary even for me.Thats the closest its ever been.Luckily the politicians have their heads in the sand.

[Thor]

Strange the way people get wound up about death. Yet it is the only real certainty in life. 18 months ago, I died ( heart stopped beating for ten minutes). It required very little effort on my behalf and was a painless process. It was quite scary when they brought me back to the land of the living. The doctor gave me a quick resume of what had happened, but I more or less realised anyway. Then the scary stuff started : he said " we are going fit a catheter, intubate you, please swallow this hosepipe " and shoved a smaller tube up my 'ooter . But they quickly sorted me out. It's going to happen to all of us. I don't know why people make certain demands for after they have croaked. I can assure you they will never know whether or not their demands have been fulfilled. Mind you I wouldn't mind " The Hedgehog Song " being played at my cremation.

May I ask a question please? Don't reply if you dont want to. During the time your heart stopped beating were you aware of anything? The doctors doing stuff? White light etc?

Glad you made it back to see us become champions.

[Clive Evans]

Thor:- I was at the doctors surgery after dialling 111. Nurse saw me & called an ambulance. I sat in waiting area. Ambulance man called me, I got up said " help me " and collapsed more or less in his arms. Thats the last I remember until I came round in resus. What happened in between, I only know from my friend & brother who were talking to the ambulance men. The doctor's was in Grays and I came around in Basildon Hospital. I was told my heart stopped beating 10-20 minutes. So presumably I was unconscious for a period of time as it takes about 20-30 minutes from Grays to Basilidon even with the blues & twos. Cardiac nurse said I am lucky having such a sharp memory of events. Often people loose the preceding two or three weeks from their memory. It was kinda like being asleep but with no dreams or anything. Just a nothingness. ( unfortunately didn't seem to qualify for the large quantity of virgins ! )

[Long slender neck]

You'd like some virgins?

[Max B Gold]

You'd like some virgins?

He didn't qualify for them. Can't you read?

[Long slender neck]

He felt this was 'unfortunate'.

Not sure Macklin would be able to sort you out some virgins mate.

[Max B Gold]

He felt this was 'unfortunate'.

Not sure Macklin would be able to sort you out some virgins mate.

Not sure what you are suggesting here.

[Clive Evans]

My literary pearls are obviously too sophisticated for some of the "swine" on this Board!