Things that happen in adverts but not in real life

[o-no]

Does anyone really sniff their washing by pushing it into their face, closing their eyes, and going ‘Mmmmm’. It annoys me every single time.

[Rich Tea Wellin]

The way people eat burgers. Two hands placed perfectly on either side of the burger.

[Proposition Joe]

Vampires surviving exclusively on takeaways ordered via an app.

[Real Al]

Swiping a razor across your cheek as if it didn't contain half a dozen extremely sharp slices of metal.

[Orient_Man_And_Boy]

A sexy neighbour offering me coffee …

[Fellowo]

The lady at the chemist making me feel better after telling me 'there is alot of it going around at the moment, so I'm not alone'.

Don't give a rats uncle, I'm sick!

[Celtient]

Immediately feeling better after taking a sip of a cold remedy

[Beradogs]

Does anyone really sniff their washing by pushing it into their face, closing their eyes, and going ‘Mmmmm’. It annoys me every single time.

Only certain items.

[StillSpike]

Burgers that look tasty and plump and tall.

[B.whitehouse+10more]

The ones that say “ Keep away from children “ why ? Are they really that dangerous

[Proposition Joe]

The ones that say “ Keep away from children “ why ? Are they really that dangerous

Didn't think the brief for this thread was that difficult to grasp, yet here we are.

[StillSpike]

You buy their car, and as you drive around the streets of a big city, there's no other cars on the road (except 2 - which are made by the same manufacturer)

[Long slender neck]

A baby lying perfectly still for a nappy change and having its spotless arse wiped

[CanningtownO]

A big fat orange bloke slapping me round the face when drinking Fanta. I wanted it to happen! I drank so much Fanta in the 90's I got diabetes of the throat. Where was trading standards when you needed them

[ContrifibulatoryFred]

Some one asks to lend a tenner and ends up with a sanitary pad

[StillSpike]

All bodily fluids are blue.

[DrWindy]

I’m yet to see a gorilla play the drums.

[DrWindy]

Or indeed any chimpanzees assist in moving a piano….

[BIGRON]

A blue pill that works ( or maybe im getting old )

[Hoover Attack]

The ones that say “ Keep away from children “ why ?

Probably targeted advertising based on your browsing history.

[WilliamTell]

The ones that say “ Keep away from children “ why ? Are they really that dangerous

Didn't think the brief for this thread was that difficult to grasp, yet here we are.

I always think that advice has nothing to do with the advert so I always keep away from children.

[Chicken Dhansak]

I don't think any woman would allow a camera filming her having a piss.

[Dunners]

Based on research from the internet, there does appear to be plenty of women who do allow it.

[B.whitehouse+10more]

The ones that say “ Keep away from children “ why ? Are they really that dangerous

Didn't think the brief for this thread was that difficult to grasp, yet here we are.

Sorry I’m slow on the uptake

[Adz]

Someone breaking in and leaving a box of chocolates (bit of an old one that)