White Knuckle Holiday

[Friend or fart]

You get an instant idea of how bad this is, because I am starting a thread whilst on holiday.
I descended on Dorset Friday evening. Just me & the doggie in a rather nice cottage just outside Swanage. On Saturday we spent a large part of the warm day at Swanage. Got back to the cottage & watched the scores. Early evening i was using my laptop. Next thing I am on my back. Not a clue where I was or what I was doing. i surprisingly got up smartish. Thought this ain't Grays. Looked out the window & that just thickened the plot. After a minute or so, pulled myself together & by consulting phone & laptop, reality sunk in. it took about an hour for me to realise that I should call 111. Just before Midnight an ambulance & 3 bods turned up. They ran a lot of tests & said you're alright. But because i've had heart failure they zipped me off to Poole Hospital. They thought I'd had a stroke. But after loadsa test they said maybe not. Was then transported to Royal Bournemouth's stroke unit. Luckily an old Chelsea girlfriend lives near Wareham and she took in my doggie. Got scanned, monitored tested & God knows what? Then I had a black-out in front of people. It looked epileptic. They put me on an anti-seizure drug & I am OK. But Monday was really scary: loadsa mini seizures, sounds like whoosing in my ear, out of body experiences, sudden vacancy . My brother & his son gonna collect me tomorrow as can't drive until I am seizure free.
But the worst was one of the nurses at Bournemouth: Ken Cope from Carry on Nurse, a geezer in black tights, that was it, no mistake, no hallucinations. The hospital porters in my many travels for tests, were the most Politically Incorrect going ( no wonder Christopher Chopes is their man ). Apparently The Royal Bournemouth is a hotbed for Trans, fetishes you name it. CEB get down there & investigate. Bloody glad I didn't need a bed bath. Ohhh 'err Missus!

[BiggsyMalone]

I think they need to send you to the psych ward next.

[Friend or fart]

That's not a nice comment, is it? You sound as Politically Incorrect as the Bournemouth porters. I hope you are never ill on holiday.

[Long slender neck]

Early evening i was using my laptop. Next thing I am on my back. Not a clue where I was or what I was doing.

Must have been some serious 'web browsing' to make you pass out?

Hope you feel better soon.

[Rich Tea Wellin]

State of this thread

[BiggsyMalone]

That's not a nice comment, is it? You sound as Politically Incorrect as the Bournemouth porters. I hope you are never ill on holiday.

You’ve apparently gone through all that, they’re trying to keep you alive and healthy but all you can do is judge someone for wearing tights.

[Long slender neck]

If you've had a seizure, be prepared to lose your licence for a year or more.

[Friend or fart]

It don't worry me, but I suspect it worries female nurses when it shares their facilities ( there didn't seem to be much love lost with the other nurses ). Also there were plenty of Christopher Chopes types in a stroke ward, who were totally bed ridden. They didn't have much option if he was gonna give them a bed bath.

[Friend or fart]

LSN :- I realise this, that why it is a white knuckle holiday. Mind you these seizures were much, much more scary. It was a bit like that TV series life on Mars. I did wonder whether I had red mushrooms put on my McDonalds burger on the way down.

[Max B Gold]

Careful you don't have a seizure thinking about all this. That's the last thing you need.

[RedDwarf 1881]

I’m sorry to hear about your seizures , Friend . Hopefully you’ll now be ok with that anti seizure drug you’re now taking and make a good recovery. However I’m intrigued about your “out of body experience “comment . Do you mean you actually saw your body from a third person’s perspective. ? I’ve listened to people’s out of body experiences in the past and think it’s an interesting subject.

[Friend or fart]

No, you get bored in hospital. No visitors 'cos I'm miles from home. Mayor of Casterbridge the only book ( hardly a laugh a minute ). I was partially eaves dropping. Suddenly the talk was incoherent, I lost the ability to tune into the conversation, I was not in control of that part of my body. Apparently you can lose control of bowel & bladder & bite your tongue. Not for me, it was just a lack of my concentration powers. Imagine if I was doing 70 down the M3. Then you get damn fool comments from the likes of Maxy & Bugsy ( probably the same ). I can imagine them keeping stum if they had seizures & keep on driving.

[Rich Tea Wellin]

It don't worry me, but I suspect it worries female nurses when it shares their facilities ( there didn't seem to be much love lost with the other nurses ). Also there were plenty of Christopher Chopes types in a stroke ward, who were totally bed ridden. They didn't have much option if he was gonna give them a bed bath.

I imagine they aren’t particularly excited about bathing some old blokes, I think you’re safe