You Are The OFF: King’s Counsel

[CEB]

Please submit your legal questions, difficulties, problems ready for You Are The OFF: King’s Counsel.

Anything from a neighbours loud music to if you wake up covered in blood and you think you’ve done a murder, OFF: KC is here for all your legal issues.

The best questions will be responded to in an illustrated comic.

[Long slender neck]

What should one do if accused on social media of hosting a radio show sponsored by and featuring hooligans/criminals?

[The Reverend]

What should one do if accused on social media of hosting a radio show sponsored by and featuring hooligans/criminals?

And possible racists.

[Dunners]

Here's one:

A friend at work has decided to take a few clients, contacts, colleagues and various others out to a fancy restaurant, followed by many, many drinks at a number of quality late-night establishments. Obviously, this was on the company credit card.

The credit card statement has been duly filed back in the office. Now, this friend was a tad concerned that blowing £1,980 in one night may be frowned upon in some circles. What is more, it vastly exceeds his annual budget for corporate hospitality.

So, he has done the sensible thing of coding all of the expenditure to a cost heading that nobody in their right mind would ever use through choice - Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Training. Think of it as free money waiting to be spent.

So far so good. Only the firm has recently outsourced its financial management to some weirdo who managed to get a basic accountancy qualification and is operating out of his garden shed in deepest darkest Tory Essex.

Anyway, this upstart wannabe finance wizz is now poking his considerable nose into this friend's expenses and asking all sorts of awkward questions. He seems to have it in his head that this could be misuse of funds and would be better spent on poor people. Any advice on how to put this imbecile right on a few points he is unsure of would be welcome.

[B.whitehouse+10more]

I am a happy clapper, am I breaking any laws by not moaning about the way my football team plays, also I don’t pick on certain players, and criticise their performance is it safe for me to carry on, or should I change my username so no one knows it’s me or you ….Brian

[slacker]

I recently won 2nd prize in one of Dunnem’s fantastic competitions, and sure enough my prize was 2 copies of Pandamonium.

My problem is that the 2 copies of Panda were the same bloody issue, and now I want to know if I have potential redress against the Ginger One over this dreadful mis-selling of an arsewipe of a prize?

[CEB]

I’m going to actually put off doing proper artwork in order to do this you know