Dentures

[Thor]

So me and my mate are in the Ilford Palle back in the day as you did back then! So we are looking for a couple of sorts to pull and across the dance floor we see this women and she is very pretty and had the most beautiful blue eye. So we decide to wander over and give her and her mate the best lines we’ve got. We slide on over and start talking at this point we’ve both realised at the same time she’s got a glass eye! We look at each other and laugh, but my mate laughed a bit too hard and both his front teeth flew out of his mouth and sank to the bottom of his pint. The girls are saying what’s funny, and I’m like look in his glass! Ow they are pissing the,selves laughing and he’s ramming his hand down his pint to retrieve his two front teeth!! Proper embarrassing!!!

[Smendrick Feaselberg]

So me and my mate are in the Ilford Palle back in the day as you did back then! So we are looking for a couple of sorts to pull and across the dance floor we see this women and she is very pretty and had the most beautiful blue eye. So we decide to wander over and give her and her mate the best lines we’ve got. We slide on over and start talking at this point we’ve both realised at the same time she’s got a glass eye! We look at each other and laugh, but my mate laughed a bit too hard and both his front teeth flew out of his mouth and sank to the bottom of his pint. The girls are saying what’s funny, and I’m like look in his glass! Ow they are p*ssing the,selves laughing and he’s ramming his hand down his pint to retrieve his two front teeth!! Proper embarrassing!!!

Cool story bro'

[tuffers#1]

Was it A Monday Night Special ?

[Max B Gold]

Hehe I bet that was the one thing your mate did not want to happen.

However, overall a weak effort made worse by a complete lack of paragraphs.

[Constanza]

Deserves a little plaque.

[BIGRON]

So me and my mate are in the Ilford Palle back in the day as you did back then! So we are looking for a couple of sorts to pull and across the dance floor we see this women and she is very pretty and had the most beautiful blue eye. So we decide to wander over and give her and her mate the best lines we’ve got. We slide on over and start talking at this point we’ve both realised at the same time she’s got a glass eye! We look at each other and laugh, but my mate laughed a bit too hard and both his front teeth flew out of his mouth and sank to the bottom of his pint. The girls are saying what’s funny, and I’m like look in his glass! Ow they are p*ssing the,selves laughing and he’s ramming his hand down his pint to retrieve his two front teeth!! Proper embarrassing!!!

Grab a Grannie night ?

[Beradogs]

50/50 night on a Wednesday. 50p to get in and 50p a drink.

[Lucky7]

Deserves a little plaque.

And a crown

[Constanza]

I always make my dental appointments for 2.30.

[Thor]

So you can have a nice early finish Constanza?

[Wrex the dragon]

North Wales many moons ago. New Year’s Eve.
There’s me, with the boys staggering down the street. I see a van full of coppers parked up & being a nice chap decide to go & wish North Wales’ finest a Happy New Year.
So I trundle over, yanks on the passenger door to shout my festive greeting when a big great unit of a bloke falls out. His head is as at my feet, his feet are still in the van & his cap is lying in a puddle.
I look down at this fella whose only got three stripes on his arm & hes trying his damned hardest to scramble to his feet but he’s stuck in some kind of body contorted limbo.
I peer into the van where about twelve coppers are absolutely pissing themselves & keep shouting “Sarge” “Sarge” . . . .
Anyway, he gets up, soaking wet with his hat dripping from god knows what kind of liquids & he says in the deepest voice I’ve ever heard . . . “Son, you’ve got five ******* seconds to disappear”.
“Righto” I say, but remember “clunk- click next time” . . . . . & ran like hell.

Moral of the story. Never lean against an unlocked door when piss heads are about . . . .