Lame to Fame 2021

[tuffers#1]

My mate's sisters husband is Feargal Sharkey off of the Undertones.

I bumped into Fergal in Chingford. It turns out he has a think about the water quality in streams and rivers, and was checking out the stream that runs behind the estate which has been built where the dog stadium used to be.

You mean the River Ching i assume ?

[Beradogs]

I was invited to spearmint rhino by David Sullivan and spent an evening there on a table of famous pornstars. At one point one of the girls asked me for money and I told her to F off. Cut a long story short I got threatened by Sullivan and then taken round the back by the bouncers for a slap.

[Beradogs]

I flew on Concorde from New York to London with only 2 other passengers. One of them was Angela Lansbury. Was in a school play with both Tamsin Outhwaite and Louise Lombard. Trinity Woodford.

[Kitch’s Magic Toes]

One of my sister’s best friends is married to Tim that won Masterchef.

[Oiram]

No way, not in this weather.

My car is green.

[Oiram]

Oiram, just how short are your legs?

33” leg

[Millennial Snowflake]

I once said hello to singer Lulu, and she turned her head away..very rude....same thing with Aneka Rice.

Always funny seeing someone feel so entitled to a response when saying hi to a celeb as if they're a long-lost pal

[Max B Gold]

I was invited to spearmint rhino by David Sullivan and spent an evening there on a table of famous pornstars. At one point one of the girls asked me for money and I told her to F off. Cut a long story short I got threatened by Sullivan and then taken round the back by the bouncers for a slap.

I was once asked to join a team pitching for the Spearmint Rhino account. I refused.

[Admin]

One of my sister’s best friends is married to Tim that won Masterchef.

Now this is proper lame to fame stuff. Well done.

[FargO]

Kent Teague shook my hand at my 70th birthday party at the O's (vs Maidstone 2 years ago)

[Harlow]

Walked past Liam Gallagher in Camden a few years back, didn't recognise him but liked his shades, a moment later my son in law said he had just seen him, realized who it was.

In reverse, whilst repping I knocked on an office door for a record company. The door opened, some of the Moody Blues were inside, they said "hi Pete (my name), come inside", Turns out they were expecting another guy called Pete. No harm done, we had a chat, then they said it was time to "go now"

Many years ago I was introduced to Henry Kelly from Game for a laugh" and Classic FM in a pub. This guy, on tv the effervescent presenter didn't say a dicky bird. Was I embarrassed?

[Currywurst and Chips]

My girlfriend at 18's, mate's boyfriend shagged Jodie Marsh while working at Sugar Hut

[Clive Evans]

In the Bull & Bush in 1970's we brushed shoulders with Allen Clarke. My girlfriend said " 'ere 'e don't 'arf look like one of the 'Ollies!

[Clive Evans]

Oh yeah & in 1967 I got Sir Alf's autograph on Cardiff Station & in the train got Geoff Hurst & Martin Peter's autograph. But in those days I was a real football fan.

[LittleMate]

Whilst at a previous company we replaced the fascias soffits and guttering of Chris Bart Williams mum!

[StillSpike]

During the winter 1981/82, nearly every Friday evening, I used to serve dinner to the Pools Panel, who used to meet at the Waldorf Hotel on the Friday evening and then hang around on Saturday in a meeting room to see if they were needed to divine a result of any postponed matches. They were a nice bunch, but quite unruly and loud in the restaurant.

I also once served Anthony Blunt, the spy.

[BoniO]

I shook hands with Michael Dell - his were clammy.

[Stamford O]

When I lived in Southport met Geoff Hurst in a bar.I said are you still driving around in your ford cortinA 1600e.he was amazed when I told him reg number..I explaIned I used to see him most days on way to school as he lived local.

[Thor]

I was checking into virgin upper class in LA and Ed China was behind me, being a petrol head we had a proper good chat and to be fair he was proper nice geezer as well. We could see everyone looking at us and when we came out he was mobbed by brits wanting a picture or autograph. The geezer is huge must be 6ft 9” Wheeler Dealers has never been the same since he left.

[Thor]

The company I was working for was doing a deal with Paul Weller and the marketing manager knowing I’m a fan said bring something in for him to sign and I’ll introduce you. Anyway I’ve got an album with me and I get brought down to meet him. He was as cool as you like just exuding coolness. Anyway he talks to me and we talk music and he duly signs the album. I was on cloud nine meeting one of my boyhood hero’s and realising he is as nice as I thought he’d be. To take it one step further he offers me tickets for a gig he was going to be doing at the roundhouse, he says I’ll sort it with your colleague.

The day arrives and I turn up with wife and go to the doors as instructed by work and give them my name, I get the old your names not down your not coming in. Everyone in the queue is looking at me thinking oh yeah that old chestnut. I make a call and a few minutes later a lady arrives and calls my name out and says I’m so sorry you are down on Paul’s personal guest list so please accept my apologies and please come with me. Now everyone’s looking at me thinking jammy sod! The gig was great and he is a god of music!

[Max B Gold]

The company I was working for was doing a deal with Paul Weller and the marketing manager knowing I’m a fan said bring something in for him to sign and I’ll introduce you. Anyway I’ve got an album with me and I get brought down to meet him. He was as cool as you like just exuding coolness. Anyway he talks to me and we talk music and he duly signs the album. I was on cloud nine meeting one of my boyhood hero’s and realising he is as nice as I thought he’d be. To take it one step further he offers me tickets for a gig he was going to be doing at the roundhouse, he says I’ll sort it with your colleague.

The day arrives and I turn up with wife and go to the doors as instructed by work and give them my name, I get the old your names not down your not coming in. Everyone in the queue is looking at me thinking oh yeah that old chestnut. I make a call and a few minutes later a lady arrives and calls my name out and says I’m so sorry you are down on Paul’s personal guest list so please accept my apologies and please come with me. Now everyone’s looking at me thinking jammy sod! The gig was great and he is a god of music!

On my way to Bond Street Sation i once saw Weller at a table outside the French cafe in St Christopher's Place.

[Dunners]

BREAKING NEWS

I've just received a Twitter notification that the ex-Pogues bass player, Cait O'Riordan (affectionately known as Rocky), is following me.

[Rich Tea Wellin]

On New Years Ever 2011, at a house party, I played an acoustic guitar whilst Lucy Jones, who famously got the boot from x-factor instead of Jedward, and more recently a quite successful west end stage career, sang.

[tuffers#1]

My Sister just spent 10 days coaching the young kid
who is going to be the star of the new J-Lo Netflix Movie .

[Thor]

My Sister just spent 10 days coaching the young kid
who is going to be the star of the new J-Lo Netflix Movie .

Caching him to do what? And what is your sister a coach of? Genuinely asking.