Boarding Olympics 100 metres - Rules and Updates on Commentary Team

[Omygawd]

Just 2 places remain before the draw of the Heats is conducted later today in what should be a ferociously competitive event featuring a number of celebrated and legendary boarders The rules are as follows:

1. There will be a no expense spared but random “torn paper with names on” draw for the heats. This is expected to take place later today depending on progress with drafting my appeal on yesterday's cricket result.
2. The fastest 4 from each of the 3 heats and the 4 fastest losers from both heats overall will make the Semi Finals.
3. I will throw 4 dice simultaneously for each competitor in turn, your combined score will move you forward by an equivalent number of metres each time. The dice will be thrown virtually via an online facility to remove any possibility of disruption from the cat.
4. The first 4 in each heat over the line in the Semi Finals automatically move into the Grand Final.
5. For your first throw on the start line in each race a throw of two or more 3’s will count as a false start and the competitor will miss a turn before proceeding.
6. Once each competitor has crossed the line there will be a final throw of two dice for each one. A double 6 will immediately identify them as a Drugs Cheat and they will be summarily expelled from the competition.
7. Anything missing from the rules will be made up as I go along and my decision will be final.

Other News…..

1. Our commentary team has been confirmed as Michael Johnson, Denise Lewis and Gabby Logan. Kenny Logan will act as interpreter for those participating from Scotchland.
2. Venue: In the absence of the availability of travel the event will take place in cyber space on a recently relined area of the Drapers Field in Leyton.

That is all (for now....)

[i8ubutler]

Could you not make it a little bit more complicated ?

[Celtient]

Kenny Logan? That gype's fee Stirling. I wunna mak oot onyhing he's saying

[BIGRON]

Och eye the noo , I'll have a wee dram before tossing my caber

[EliotNes]

Will we be tested for performance enhancing drugs at anytime or can I have my daily medicinal cannabis beforehand